Mariska1203

you said it.
you said it.
you said that you prefer him.
does it my mistake?
do you know how does it feels?!
when i hear those words?
i wanna say what i feel
at that time.
but i dont. cause..
i know.
you’ll dont care on it

Goodbye my bestfriend.

Hey friend.
Maybe i dont understand you.
Or maybe i have never understand you
I always think by my sight
I never think by your sight
Sorry for breaking our friendship.
For spoken words that hurts you so bad (or not).
Sorry i can’t understand you.
Sorry i can’t be the best.
I always jealous.
It’s just because. I do really afraid that i’ll losing you.
I always mad at random things.
I don’t know why.
I knew you’re tired with me.
Maybe it’s the right time for you
To break free.
Now, you dont need to care on me.
Or care on my words, my thoughts,
My story,
You just need to live your life.
Find your happiness with the one you love and
Reach your future.
Thanks for all of the hugs that you give to me.
Hugs that wouldn’t be the same with anyone else.
You’re just too perfect for me.
If someday we arent meant together
I’ll never forget your name
Your hugs. Your story.
Your favorites. Or anything.
You’ll be the best that i’ve ever had
Maybe i’ve written many words for you
And maybe you thought
this just bullshit or something.
But you just need to know..
that I do still love you.
You dont need to read or
care about this spam
And don’t reply or text something.
JUST READ OR NOT READ.

- skybum -

It would be so hard
For me to pass my days
Without you.

It feels like years.
I wait for your cute text.
For you words.
Just everything.

I feel like i never met you before.
We act like we’re nothing.
But you never know.
How hard it is.

All day long im thinking about you
Actually about us.
I never thought
That you will be mean so much to me

All things that we’ve passed.
Still stuck in my head.
And break the glass of my heart.
And you shut the bullet in my head

You can be happy right now.
Not for me.
You have the one that always beside you
I dont.

We’re not same.
You’re luckier than me.
You have a better life than me
You had all you need

I dont know what i feels now.
Its keep hurting
All of the memories.
Just only memories.

All of the prediction
Turn into a reality.
I never want this.
Also you

But this is reality
Lets accept it
And keep movin
And move on

-mariska 9apr 20:42

“maybe i will change to the old me. But of course. It won’t be the same.. cause i had him…”
It always haunts me..
I think about it everyday…
I don’t know what should i do.
I feel further and further to you.
Bad thoughts. Over-emotion.
I feel like i don’t know myself
I can’t control myself as good as before.
I over-emotion.
I should know your position.
But i still… Can’t.
Deeper in my heart..
I love you most dear.
But now…
Every words you say.
Everything what we’ve done.
I feel like it never happened.
I feel empty at all.
I feel like there’s
A big. Thick. And heavy
Wall between us..
We can’t break that.
We can’t pierce it.
And we don’t even can’t lift it up.
I don’t know
what’s the best way for us
Should we turn back and go far?
Or we would climb to reach the top.
Just God who knows the best.
We just can… Try.
Especially me.

Again and again
It always hunts me.
Everyday. Everynight.
Who are really my friends?
Of course #CH is my best
How about #KJ ?
I’m not really sure about that.
We’re in a friendship.
We talk. We joke. We share.
But….
It just when he be with her.
Just only that.
If… He’s not be with her
I bet. He wouldn’t same
And i’ve seen that true.
And also…..
If he tried to cheer me up.
I know really know.
It just because my bestfriend.
She must be ask him to do that.
It’s the reason why
His ask .. Or something
Doesn’t ever change my mood
Well i don’t even know.
Where are all these trouble from.
Maybe jealousy?
Or anything?
I couldn’t find out what it is.
I wanna be back.
Be my old me.
Be better me.
I dont want to be like this as always
I wanna change.
Before it’s too late to try..
-me.

I never thought
I’d be as devil as now.
Full of revenge.

I act good.
I give smiles.
But
It doesn’t mean i like you
Just remember that.